The "Newer" Everlasting Humor Thread

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a classic.

my brother and i are dying laughing.
this silly bint (the anchor... Carol Costello?) on CNN just did a pre-commercial tease for upcoming Presidential blather.
"he'll be talking about the economy and women. But of course he's running for re-election... so that makes his message more important than ever."

"I noticed at the party last night, you kept calling your wife Crisco. Why is that?"
"Crisco is her party name. At home, I call her Lardass."

Anderson Nails

A small factory in the northwest, Anderson Nails, had been experiencing years of success and growth. Feeling that he was ready to try for the big time, the owner, Mr. Anderson, contracted a big Madison Avenue agency to help him promote his product.

Aiming to get the greatest possible exposure, the agency booked a full minute at the beginning of the Super Bowl half time show. Anderson was pretty excited about this, and invited all of his friends and relatives to his home for a big Super Bowl party. At the end of the first half, everybody drew closer to the TV, wanting to see the premiere of the commercial. It began with an aerial shot of the desert, and zoomed in on a small walled city. As the camera slowly panned about the city, it became apparent that this was Jerusalem, during the Roman occupation. A large hill on the horizon came into view, and as the camera drew closer, a number of crosses became visible. The focus settled on a naked man in a crown of thorns, then moved in for an extreme close up of his bleeding hands, and the nails which held them to the cross. The nails were stamped with the Anderson Nails logo. A subtitle appeared on the screen, bearing the words "Anderson Nails -- the Expert's Choice".

Anderson's guests were horrified. The party broke up before the end of the game. The next day, he began to get phone calls from his oldest and most loyal customers, expressing their outrage and cancelling their orders. By the end of the week, his sales were down to nothing. He called the president of the advertising agency to cancel his contract. When Anderson explained the situation, the ad-man was surprised, and offered to create a new campaign and run it at no charge.

The new campaign was slated to start several weeks later, on Easter morning as it turns out. This time, Anderson nervously watched the commercial alone in the privacy of his office. It began the same way as before, with an aerial view of Jerusalem. The camera finally settled on two Roman soldiers drinking wine at a table near the marketplace. Hearing a disturbance nearby, they looked up from their drinks in time to see a naked man, with bleeding hands and feet, being pursued by a group of soldiers. The first soldier looked at his companion, smiled knowingly, and said, "They didn't use Anderson Nails!"

... The first soldier looked at his companion, smiled knowingly, and said, "They didn't use Anderson Nails!"

It's an interesting story, but it isn't funny. And it wouldn't work.

Funnier, though no less sacrilegious, is the visual image of Christ "escaping" from his execution, by pulling his hands free from the nails, enjoying an expression and moment of triumph, . . .

. . .

. . .

. . . and then falling flat on his face.

It's an interesting story, but it isn't funny. And it wouldn't work.

Funnier, though no less sacrilegious, is the visual image of Christ "escaping" from his execution, by pulling his hands free from the nails, enjoying an expression and moment of triumph, . . .

. . .

. . .

. . . and then falling flat on his face.

I heard this many years ago:

Jesus was on the cross, and he was really starting to feel the pain, so he cried to his Father, "Lord, if you really love me, you'll remove these nails from my hands." God complied. As Jesus began falling forward, he suddenly remembered and yelled - as his arms were flapping, "The FEET! THE FEET!"

More:

Twas the night before Easter and the Rock wouldn't budge.

Pontius Pilate and his Nail Driving Five, playing "Rock Around the Cross."

The do-it-yourself Easter kit: two boards, three nails.

I don't care if this IS the Last Supper -- no ID card, no bread and wine!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g-A6TLjsbs&feature=youtu.be

That's great, Gumlegs. And you have too much time on your hands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g-A6TLjsbs&feature=youtu.be

Brilliant homage to Buster!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g-A6TLjsbs&feature=youtu.be

It's an interesting story, but it isn't funny. And it wouldn't work.

Funnier, though no less sacrilegious, is the visual image of Christ "escaping" from his execution, by pulling his hands free from the nails, enjoying an expression and moment of triumph, . . .

. . .

. . .

. . . and then falling flat on his face.

Here's the real Buster Keaton in a beer commercial. It looks like a sort-of homage to Emil Cohl. What do you think, Gumlegs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMy5F79uBBU

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Both interviews conducted chez Thatcherite.

Here's the real Buster Keaton in a beer commercial. It looks like a sort-of homage to Emil Cohl. What do you think, Gumlegs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMy5F79uBBU

It can be read that way, but Keaton was well known for using the two-dimensional quality of the screen to set up unexpected gags. In fact, in his first solo short, "The High Sign," he draws a hook on the wall and hangs his hat on it (a gag later stolen for Lou Costello in "In The Navy"). I don't know that there was a Cohl connection, but I can't rule it out, either. There is no animation involved, so I'm inclined to say no. On the other hand, the copywriter may have had that in the back of his head. At this point, there's no way to tell.

Here's the real Buster Keaton in a beer commercial. It looks like a sort-of homage to Emil Cohl. What do you think, Gumlegs?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMy5F79uBBU

Simon Pure was a local Beer where I grew up (Buffalo). I don't remember this commercial, but I remember others he made for them.

http://vulgardragon.deviantart.com/art/Oh-Noooooooo-294984156