A Child's Back Alley of Verses

Jeans, Jeans
They cover your bottom.
They cover your legs.
They cover your scrotum.
Jeans -- they keep the cold at bay,
So wear your jeans like every day.

-- CA 2009-03-16

Very nice!

fibers of flannel
sensuous silk
together we find
our heavenly ilk
cotton's so passé
corduroy's a bore
my girlfriend and me
roll around nude on the floor!

Big ol' baby boogers dropping from your nose.
Big ol' baby boogers splatting on your toes.
Big ol' baby boogers oozing down the hall.
Big ol' baby boogers sticking to the wall.
Let's get those baby boogers before they get too big.
So let me get the hanky out and then we'll start to dig.

I look at the piles you've left on the tiles
While your diaper slowly leaks.
I see on the floor the trail to the door
Where your diaper slowly leaks.

I know I've told you you're much to old to
To be messing in your drawers.
I don't know why you let it fly,
And make messes on my floors.

I watch as you huddle above the puddle
That into the wood floor slowly seeps
We wipe and rub, and then we scrub
As your mother gently weeps.

Are you too dotty, to use the potty?
Your much too old for this
There're no excuse why your pants ooze
When there's a place for you to piss.

I look at the piles you've left on the tiles
While your diaper slowly leaks.
I see on the floor the trail to the door
Where your diaper slowly leaks.

No, no, no,
No, no, no, no, no, no,
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck,
Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

I did not rear a male child
mine we all little girls
they picked their nose
ran about without clothes
while picking dandelion seed balls
placing them in brown shopping bags

some were afraid of cows
they loved to fish
for pets they had cats,
dogs, and a raccoon
swam in the creek on hot summer days
in winter built snowmen with a carrot nose

I am greatly proud of this band of women
the dedication to one another is strong
they honor their mother and help her along
while father died a young man
they show respect for him.

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe
She had so many children she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread,
Then whipped them all soundly
And put them to bed.

The children, enduring such shoe-full abuse,
Found Child Protection a sadist's excuse.
They formed a committee and upstairs they crept
To her room where they slit
Her throat while she slept.

As I was walkin' up the stair,
I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
Oh how I wish he'd go away.

But when I am reminded that
I live in a one-story flat,
Then climbing stairs that don't exist
Means more work for my therapist.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

The owner of the well-topped hill
When sued by Jack's HMO,
Was asked how it was he chose to drill
So high, not down below.

The answer wasn't good enough
And the judge ruled drastically.
Now Jack and Jill own all his stuff
In perpetuity.

Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in the pot, nine days old.
Toss it in the microwave, ten minutes high,
Listen for the pot to crack, smell the porridge fry.
See the windowed door blow out, watch the gooey foam,
Won't this be a funny sight for mom when she gets home?

Children Are Flowers

Children are flowers.
That you didn’t know?
Why else would the dirt be,
A place that they grow?

They glory in showers,
Of rain that may fall,
And wave in the breezes,
That Spring brings to call.

Their laughter and smiling,
Are perfumes of mind.
Yes, children are flowers,
My favorite kind.

NicknamedBob . . . . . May 4, 2008